ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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