the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
