I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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