I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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