I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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