I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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