I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I fill condoms, not promises.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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