What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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