My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize