Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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