Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
