There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
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I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
MIDGETS
????
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He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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