I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
