dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
