I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
