no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
