hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize