I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
