i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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