would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
