Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
The power of my boobs compel you
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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