So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Dignity is for republicans.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
