it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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