Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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