Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I have post one night stand depression
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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