Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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