how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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