Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
is wine microwaveable?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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