DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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