She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
