a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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