Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
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I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
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He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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