She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize