Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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