I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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