I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
