literally had 100 drinks last night.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
