dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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