This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Randomize
