My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
tequila makes me forget i have legs
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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