you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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