i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
