I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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