Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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