stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
