Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
