you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
