I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
