I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
