woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize