playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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