She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
