You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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