The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize