you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Everything about him screamed your future.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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