i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it