Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018