I just pynch a tree in the face
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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