is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.